Day 4
The day started with a community
breakfast once again. I took my seat and looked across the table to see who all
were present. I counted heads and realised 2 ladies were absent. One was Tishani and the other was Aunt Mary.
And it surprised me that I was getting familiar with quite a few names of
people travelling with us. I was wondering what would have been the reason,
when I saw them coming down the stairs.
Aunt Mary was dressed like a
queen, with a tiara. A green gown, netted sleeves, hair styled fashionably, a
few beauty products I was unfamiliar with and a beautiful smile, she looked
adorable. Tishani by her side, aiding her to get down the stairs. I realised
that everyone at the table stood up as the ladies walked up to the place, and
as they reached everyone started to sing the ‘Birthday song’ for Aunt Mary.
Uncle George came up with a cake lit with candles, singing in rhythm to the
group. Aunt Mary’s eyes were all moist with the loving gesture of the group as
she cut her birthday cake. After everyone did, I walked up to her and wished a happy
birthday.
I walked up to the counter to get
a tissue. Tishani was there already.
“I sense the party was your idea”.
“Yes it was, you liked it?”, she
asked smiling.
“While the celebration was
chalked out with a purpose of making Mrs Mary happy on her b’day while she was
away from home, my liking-not liking should not be given importance, but as a
matter of fact, Yes I liked it”, I said in a breath.
“Oh Aman, it wasn’t just for her,
it was a celebration planned for all of us, to make us feel good, to make
memories for us all that we’ll cherish for the rest of our lives. And, I think
you got to practise taking breaths while you state a long-long sentence”, she
said giggling.
All of us left for the city tour
then. But all throughout, I was stuck at
a thought. Why was it that, Tishani bothered to waste her time and energy for
an activity which gains her nothing at an academic or intellectual level? Why was
that she planned a celebration for some old aunty she just met three days ago?
Why was it that she cared so much for the people around? Seemingly, she didn’t
gain a thing out of all that. But is that what makes her feel good all time,
because she’s ever so smiling? But then again she wasn’t gaining anything, I wasn’t
sure of her GPA though. All that
confused me more and more. I had to ask, but I wasn’t sure I should.
Our city tour took us to National Monument,
King’s Palace, Independence Square, Petronas Twin Towers, Boutique Chocolate and
National Mosque. Each location being more alluring and Eden than the previous
one. While my eyes were blissed at the sight of this Shangri –la, my heart was
immersed in the loving aura that Tishani weaved around her. Everyone seemed to
be so happy having her around. Every time I looked at her, I saw her smiling,
clicking photos of the old couples, suggesting them romantic poses, making them
happy. Subconsciously I started to actually like her presence around me, I exactly
could not figure out why, but yes her presence made everything around look so
beautiful.
Later at the dinner that night, she
gifted Aunt Mary and Uncle George a GANESHA
idol, which I remembered she
bought at the market when I was with her, a day before.
I finished my dinner and started
to move towards my room, I sensed her catching up, and I turned to face her, she
stroke a conversation.
“Hey, what plans?”
“Umm, nothing unusual; was thinking
to watch a movie before moving to bed.”
“Aman, I guess movies can be seen
when you are back to India”.
“Seems you have a better plan”, I
enquired smiling.
“Actually yes. I was wondering if
you could give me company to the terrace. I think the view of the city would be
great from such a height. So you in?”
“I am sure I would have never
thought of that, but it sounds better than watching the same set of movies all
over again. So yup, I am in”.
We took a lift to the 24th
floor, and thereby stairs. The night sky adorned with stars looked just as magnificent
as the city lit with lights all over. We chose a spot and stood there gazing at
the beautiful city and alternately admiring the night sky. I learnt something that
night, gazing at the night sky stimulates your philosophical thought process,
which I rarely used.
“So you said you were the only
child of your parents”, she asked.
“Yes, that’s true”.
“Is that the reason why you
choose to remain cut off from people around you?”
That seemed a rather direct
question that I was subjected to, but unlike other times, I chose to discuss.
“Umm, I don’t know. If you could
present me your hypothesis, I’d be in a better position to answer”.
“Hypothesis”, she giggled. “Aman, it’s okay if
you use daily terms while conversing informally”.
I was clueless of what she said,
but she continued.
“You didn’t have any siblings
growing up with you; both your parents were working, which means the only major
talk that they could’ve afforded with you while you were growing up must’ve
been centred around you academics. Because of which you perhaps grew up
believing that academics is all that holds importance; that is what is needed
for you to build up a stable career; never involving yourself with people
around; never having informal talks with anyone, never trying to know what
people around you are upto.”
“Is that actually required?”, I
asked doubtfully.
“Aman, I have been with you at
high school. In the 240 working days that we had in a year, you followed the
same routine each day. Your itinerary was so predictable that other students
used to bet money on what your next move was going to be. Ofcourse they were
jealous of your good grades, and their mocking you should’ve been none of your
concern, but if you think hard about that time, I guess you can’t remember
anything except a few scientific equations and your pointer”.
“Umm, yes… no... yes my pointer
was 9.8. Darn, the C.S teacher, she was unjust to me because I questioned her
degree. What was yours?”
“9.65”, she replied.
“That was a good CGPA too,
considering it was high school. But it confuses me all the more, was your
social conduct at that time same as it is today?”
“Yes, more or less”.
“You seem to be a good manager”,
I said in a complementing voice.
“Aman, focus is one thing and
isolation is another. Even if you have high goals in life, focus will fetch you
your set targets. But isolation will restrict your personal and professional
growth. When you pass out of college, you’ll have no profs, no teachers, whom
will you learn from then? It’s the people around us from whom we learn our
lessons, lessons that life has to teach us. Its people around us whom we have
to turn to; for happiness, for celebrations, for living a life instead of just
being alive”.
I was silently listening to her,
her words were making sense to me, though at a slow pace. She seemed sure about
her hypothesis and I found not a point to contradict, unlike earlier times.
“Life isn’t a ladder that you
keep climbing up throughout your life, its rather a tree, where you grow life
long, spread your branches in the sky, in all directions without hesitating and
yet keeping your roots and values strong and intact. Not only does it gift you
an evergreen life but also provides a much needed comforting shade to people
around you”, were her words.
We stood there for a while; I was
cogitating all that she said to me, until she stated that it was time to return
to our rooms to rest. As I lay on bed that night, I couldn’t sleep. In my ears
were reverberating Tishani’s voice and in my mind my social conduct since
childhood. I couldn’t think of even one instance in the 21 years that I lived
on the planet when I made someone smile. For the first time in my life I was
disappointed, disappointed from myself. I lay there thinking how I could mend
this for my coming life; and realized how weak I was to mend it all by myself.
……………………………………………………………………………………………
Day 5
Two thirds of our tour was done.
We left for Thailand early morning. In the flight my seat was next to Aunt
Mary. Tishani’s seat was 2 rows ahead of me diagonally. Last night’s revelations and realisations were
still running in my mind. I wanted to break the glass walls of isolation that I
myself built around myself. Thus I tried to strike a conversation with Aunt
Mary.
“Good morning aunty”.
“Good morning beta, how are you?”
“I am good”.
“You say so, but your eyes tell
that something’s been keeping you awake; anything that you’ll like to share?”
“Nothing in specific aunty,
regular stuff”, I said hesitantly. I wasn’t sure of how sure I should go in the
first informal conversation.
“You two make a cute couple”.
The last statement left me
flabbergasted; it stunned me top to bottom. I couldn’t say a word, my heartbeat
almost doubled and breaths went heavy.
“Why, I mean how… I mean what
made you think so? “, I asked stammering.
“These old eyes have seen the
world Aman, you are travelling with around 20 old couples, ask anyone and they’ll
tell you what they see in your eyes, something which even you might not cannot
observe in yourself. I saw you on the first day and I see you now, five days
down the change that I’ve seen in you has been largely because of the girl
sitting 2 rows ahead diagonally.”
I listened like a child, my heart
brimming with mixed emotions, confusions and abdomen feeling fluttery.
“So what should I do?”
“You can either choose to be with
her, confess what you feel for her and make a new beginning of your life with her,
or continue with the life you have been living all these years”.
She paused for a while I sat
evaluating.
“Think well, but avoid
overthinking, it’ll weaken the decision you make.”
“Aunty, You sure I should go
ahead?”, I asked to confirm.
“Beta, you sure that what I see in your eyes is true?”
“Yes aunty.”
“You answer your question then,
go ahead; make this tour memorable for all”.
For all my remaining time in the
flight, my inexperienced mind came up with a million plans for proposing
Tishani, discarding one after the other. I surely didn’t want to commit a
mistake that would ruin the most important test of my life. The ideas were
still flowing in when we reached Bangkok, and subsequently our hotel.
We were all to gather for lunch,
and I had a plan in mind, which till now appeared to be flawless.
In the next half an hour, as I
wished it to be, all were at the lunch table, I was ready, well dressed,
arranged for some flowers; with my heart pacing, I anxiously waited for Tishani
to come over.
And then she came, dressed in
blue, curls of hair set perfectly, deep blue oceanic eyes, wearing the most
beautiful smile time could ever see; my heart skipped a beat at her sight. As
she started coming towards the table she greeted everyone in her regular style,
“Hey ya”; everyone looked in her direction; I stood up, took a deep breath,
looked to her in the eyes and started walking towards her. We were both walking
towards each other, and my wait finally seemed to end, with each passing step
that we took towards each other, brought me closer to her, to my life.
