Saturday, 24 August 2013

24 Seconds..



24 Seconds

1:40 am, 9 June 2012
Andheri, Mumbai.

“Ek chaalis ki last local”, that was the first thing that came to my mind that night as I stepped out of last local, that ran on the western local rail line, on Andheri west platform. I was not new to the place. I have been to Mumbai more than a dozen times and was more than familiar with the protocol one has to follow to ensure safety at all times.

I wasn’t alone. With me was a friend, a dear friend. The day had been very long and tiring for both of us. Almost all the formalities for her admission to a Government engineering college had been taken care of and on our way back, both of decided to rest and relax for a while at marine lines after our Chinese treat at 5 Spice restaurant, Marine Drive.

Though I consider Mumbai to be the safest metro city of our country, I was extra cautious of our safety, as I had a girl with me. At that hour of the day, it was highly unlikely to see a ticket officer coming your way and asking for tickets. But the city surprises you always. Following the protocol, I showed him our tickets and then we headed out of the station.

No matter what time it is, as soon as you step out of the station, rickshaws begin to circle you ready, to offer you a ride back home. Home was not more than 2 kilometres from station. And since the traffic was relatively very low than the peak hours, she said to me in her soft voice, “Akshay, I want us to walk back home. Plz plz plz plz, see it’s very rare that I am out at this time of the day and the traffic is so low. I sort of like this aura around, the temperature, the hour, the cool breeze, and the satisfaction of completing the admission procedures, and having you with me after almost a year, just perfect. Thus I don’t want to put all this to an abrupt end. Thussss…”.

I considered her to be one of the most treasured friends and it never so happened that I’d say no to her. Still I thought for a while but then said, “Ok Geeta, as always, we go with what you wish”.

I called up my aunt and updated her that we had reached the station and will be back soon, and asked her to pass on the information to Geeta’s parents, who lived next door. Well, it is always difficult for relatives to understand our naïve youthful wishes (*especially at this hour of the night), and thus I chose not to tell them that we were planning to walk our way back home.

Now began the walk. It was a beautiful view, McDonalds on both sides, with the road in centre and the city lit by yellow street lights with a silvery tinge of moonlight. We quietly crossed the lane and began to walk on S.V road.
Geeta and I had been friends since we were in 6th. And ours had been an ever flourishing friendship even though we lived in different cities. We were almost in a regular contact, and not a day passed without a call being made from any end.

As we walked a few metres in silence, I noticed her trying to synchronize our footsteps and I uttered, “Geeta, aadhi raat ko bhi teko masti sujh rhi”, and as I said this I myself attempted to synchronize our steps, was successful in a few attempts. A few more silent steps, and then she started the conversation.

“Akshay, I feel so relieved today. Finally the admission procedures are completed and now the weights are off me. I FEEL FREE and back to normal”. Well getting into a govt. engg. college does provide such relief, back home I was planning to take admission into MANIT after AIEEE results were out. Backing her talks with recurring “hmm(s)”, I tried to assure her that I was all ears.

My palm reached for the little weapon of self-defence, which every marshal art learner carries always, after every hundred meters that we walked. It somehow used to reinforce the sense of security and made me more confident to take care of any mishappening that might befall us.



Geeta was a very sweet and loving, ambitious and independent, smart and BEAUTIFUL kind of a girl. I’d known her for 7 years now and was aware of almost everything that used to be in her mind and heart at any given time.
There always are some special people in our life, who when call out our name, make you fall in love with your name. Geeta was that special a friend to me. Every time she used to call out my name, my face used to light up with a grin from one ear to the other, and my heart used to skip a beat.

While Geeta continued with her talk, I took out my mobile from my pocket to look for time, it was 2:03am and the based on what the weather app on home screen showed, it should have been raining then. I directed the mobile back to my pocket and continued with the recurring “hmm(s)”. I felt the temperature dip in weather and placed both my palms into my pockets.

Between these conversations, we occasionally used to look down at our feet and tried to synchronize them again.  
We then took a right for the J.P road, our apartment still being a kilometre away. It was growing cold and Geeta now stepped close to me, holding on to my left arm, and her head resting on my shoulders. Considering the relationship that we shared, this nowhere felt to me as awkward. She seemed tired and thus I tried to comfort her by letting her walk that way.

She continued, “Akshay, today is the happiest day of my life. I have moved step ahead in my life and so have you”, and as she said this, we doubled the length of the footstep to commemorate the high sounding word.

“Akshay, it’s been seven years and all through this I’ve gone through a variety of circumstances, highs and lows. Things have changed around us. The entire teen-life, we have been together always. From petty fights with friends at school to winning every competition, from irritating homely issues to driving car for the first time, from studying late at night to getting into this college, there is one thing that has been common. A force behind me, a belief. And that is you Akshay”.

My heart filled with pride for being able to offer such positivity in my dear friend’s life. And I said, “Same here Geeta”. 

Meanwhile I checked my right back pocket again and then again took out my mobile to check for time. 2:26am it was and a slight shower had begun.

We were walking at a slow pace, home still being around 600 metres away.

She continued, “You have been always there for me, any hour, any moment, you were only a call away. My life centres around you, and I cannot even think of a day without you”. Her voice grew deeper and deeper. And then I felt a drop on my left arm. Was not sure whether the shower was turning into rain or Geeta was… and as I turned my face towards her’s , I saw that tears were trickling down her cheeks.

I wiped her tears with my right palm and tried to calm her down. She tried to stop her tears. We walked a few steps in complete silence, the insides were on fire with emotions though. I felt her withdrawing her arm from mine to wash away her tears. I continued to walk until I realized that I couldn’t hear her footsteps. I stopped. Turned back. Noticed I was 5 steps ahead and she had stopped walking. Looking into my eyes were her deep oceanic eyes, brimming with love for me.

“I love you Akshay”, the words that broke the silence. Surprized I was but didn’t took me long to realize that the feelings were not one-sided. As we began to come close the intensity of the rain seemed to increase. As the distance between us decreased to a mere step, I took the last one and hugged her tight; the rain appeared to be trying to cover us in her blanket with growing intensity.



As the hug came to a halt, I kissed her forehead and said, “ Though it took me time to realize it, but yes, Geeta … if there is anyone for whom I have been working hard, for whom I could do anything, with whom I can see my bright and happy future, it’s you… Geeta, I love you too”.

Now my left arm was round her neck, her head resting on my shoulders and our steps by default synchronized resulting from our proximity.

Nothing in the world pumps out more satisfaction than the realization of having someone in your life, whom you can always turn to, no matter what circumstances, no matter what happens, you know she’ll always be there for you, in your highs, in your lows, behind your achievements, to push you always and most importantly, her being with you, makes you feel complete. And today we both were COMPLETE.

Next few steps, we walked talking and planning out our future moves, and how eventually we’d chalk out our careers and then persuade our families to allow us to marry each other and to live together happily forever.

The rain had stopped and I checked the time then, and it was 2:46 am. I was expecting a call from my aunt since it was late. We almost reached the end of J.P road. Our apartment was a mere 150 metres now.

There were a few medical shops in our area that also used to deal in ice-creams at night, and as they were officially medical stores, they had the permission to be open 24*7. Though it was very late and moments like this need to be celebrated, we decided to go for a special choco-chip cone, and to buy some for our families to cool them down incase they roared at us for being so late.

I took out my wallet and just then I saw 2 miss calls from my aunt. I told this to her and began redialling my aunt’s number. She took the wallet from my hand and signalled me that she’d be back with the ice creams while I finish with the call. I nodded in agreement. She crossed the road and ordered for ice-cream. As my aunt picked up my phone she started asking all sorts of questions in just one breath. I was praying that the final 1 rupee balance should not collapse before I inform her that I was just a lane away from the apartment and we were safe.

As I ended the call I saw the the mobile screen blinking:
                                                              “Call duration:  24 seconds
                                                                Call cost: 24 paise”

Happy that I was still had 76 paise left with me, I turned to see if Geeta was done. There she was, with my wallet in one hand and the bag full of ice creams in the other, crossing the road. Each step she took, brought her close to me, making me happier. She was still about 10 meters away. We were mesmerized looking into each other’s eyes.

Just then, I noticed a high truck speeding towards Geeta, she being totally unaware, “Geeta”, I yelled pointing towards the truck and rushed towards her. The truck won the race, blaring it’s horns, breaking the pin drop silence.  And before I could make it to her, Geeta was gone. And with her, all my dreams were killed by the over speeding truck.

Helpless I lay there with Geeta in my arms. My tears diluting her blood.
I closed my eyes and cried helplessly.

I felt someone keeping her hand on right shoulder, I turned back, opened my eyes. I was taken aback by what I saw. My mother was behind me, looking at me curiously and looking worried. And I… was on my bed.

It took me some time to realize that I was home… I looked around for Geeta, she wasn’t there… I realized it was a dream… and nothing had happened in reality… was JUST A NIGHTMARE INDEED.

I decided to make a call to Geeta immediately, to ensure she was safe… I picked up my mobile, unlocked it and opened up my contacts.
On the search bar I typed, “GEETA”. I was surprized to see that my phone had no contact suggestions for that name. I re-typed it, same result. Puzzled of what all was happening to me, I called my mother and asked, “When was the last time that you heard from Geeta”. Maa’s reply left me shocked, “Geeta?? Who’s Geeta?? Beta, none of your friends I know is Geeta. Whom are you talking about??”.

With my eyes closed and head between both my hands, I recollected all my memories since childhood upto the nightmare, and realized… I was never a friend with someone named Geeta… T’was just an imaginary character of my nightmare…



I got out of my bed, walked towards the window, stared blankly at the rains and sighed in relief, “ohh gosh, was just a dream”.
Continued to look out of the window, arms folded, immersed in the thoughts of Geeta… until I heard my mother calling me up for breakfast.



Disclaimer: Parts of the above episode are fictional. Any resemblance to any person, living or dead is purely coincidental.


  

The Metaphoric Eyes..

THE METAPHORIC EYES

Preface:

Shakespeare's Sonnet 132
Thine eyes I love, and they, as pitying me,
Knowing thy heart torments me with disdain,
Have put on black and loving mourners be,
Looking with pretty ruth upon my pain.
And truly not the morning sun of heaven
Better becomes the grey cheeks of the east,
Nor that full star that ushers in the even
Doth half that glory to the sober west
As those two mourning eyes become thy face.
O, let it then as well beseem thy heart
To mourn for me, since mourning doth thee grace,
And suit thy pity like in every part.
Then will I swear beauty herself is black
And all they foul that thy complexion lack
.


Today was one of those days when I open up my diary to write something, turn a few pages … find something interesting from my past and start reading and reliving those experiences again…  

...

It was the time when I cleared my 10th boards and I was at my cousin’s place for my vacations. This is what my diary read that day...


27th March 2010
….

During the first phase of my adolescence, I came across hundreds of songs portraying the hero dedicating songs and metaphorising the eyes of his lady love.

In the first few months, I was least interested in knowing the reason as to why the eyes of the hero’s love had been personified by the lyricist. But as the circumstances around me matured, I found my thoughts deepening.

There are two ways by which a writer can present his perception about an incident. One is by grasping the series of actual events from someone who faced it or was present in the vicinity. And the other is by self-experiencing the situation himself. The aim of the latter trail is not just recognition or appreciation, but to gain a feeling of self-fulfillment so that he can subside the growing restlessness within.

Coming back to my previous words; i.e. why only eyes, I thought perhaps it is considered to be the most vital organ among others; and what starts from the heart might be brought up by the eyes.

But none of my self-made theories regarding the metaphorising of the eye convinced me to an extent when I feel to write about it and thus I was still in a desperate search for the answer.

Then for years, this thought got buried under the layers of ignorance and a few more non convincing theories.

But one day, after years of search, I got both the explanation an also an opportunity to realize it myself.
….

It was a day whose date shouldn't bother me much, what would matter was the chance granted to be in that moment.

As I sit back now to retrace what I went through in that period, I remember a room, a bed, and a girl- a family friend she was.

She was sitting next to me, and with a sudden move we turned towards each other simultaneously, our eyes met and she asked me to play a game. The game was to look into each other’s eyes, the one who takes his eyes off the other’s, loses. Unlike the actual game, blinking was allowed, but not for a moment we could see anywhere except the other’s eye.

What I’d been desperately searching for years was now unknowingly being enforced upon me by the circumstances and in a flashing second, I muttered-“Yes I agree for the game.”

The game wasn't difficult but it was something new thus there wasn't any denial for the same from my side.

Going by my prejudices that eyes were just eyes, I, in the first few minutes found myself admiring the physicality of her eyes.

The eyelid was thinner than the lower skin folds; the cornea was marble white, aqueous humor normally transparent, brown pupil, dark iris and my image at the center.
…..

The time was growing and so was the zeal in me to look beyond the visible aspect… to look for something abstract. I found something deep... the depth of which was more than a million fathoms.

Two big eyes, which were brimming and overflowing because of the continuous staring…, were flooding my heart at regular intervals.

It is believed that the heart being the most important organ symbolizes the most valuable abstract feeling- LOVE and the eyes suffice its actions.

My eyes went deeper.

With each passing moment, the millions of glass walls which I never noticed between my eyes and the other person’s eyes were now breaking apart into pieces and my vision getting clear.

There was silence surrounding us both but still the eye-to-eye interaction was underway and developing.
……

It was already some 30 minutes complete I guess.

But what I was witnessing was the most beautiful thing I ever came across. I recapitulated that none of my previous success brought this level of satisfaction to me.

I was totally embraced by hypnotism, captivated and any alternative provided to me now reduced itself to a naive attempt to deter me from looking into her eyes. 

The other inmates of the room did commit some physical atrocities upon me but my patience and zeal fought all odds and none was successful in stopping me from looking into those beautiful eyes. My patience won and all gave up… my eyes did not.

Her eyes seemed to carry something divine. As per our initial positioning, the eye that I focused into was primarily her left and even after my hearty efforts of looking into the right one, I always resumed my attention back to her left eye.
And my heart made a demarcation that her left eye was more interactive than the right one. It was DEEP and DARK and REFLECTIVE.
……

The most beautiful moment that used to be for me was when her heart perhaps felt something and that sparked some signal which was then just in a millisecond transferred to her eyes; her pupil grew wider and before her lips conveyed, I knew she’d smile.

And what used to follow next was exactly what I saw in her eyes.



It was an awesome feeling and I had not seen such a brilliant smile in my life before this.

What were more magnificent were the moments that followed each smile of hers. The moment she smiled, within a fraction of second, calmness blinked, and the manner in which her lips retraced their path over her teeth, joining the two halves was even more beautiful.

I could not number her smiles but that confirmed me that even she found something interesting in my eyes and her level of participation was no less than mine.

I found this to closely resemble the constructive interference of frequencies that I studied in 11th std physics. Each word I've studied then was turning true.
Our feelings were not time bound, thus we never cared what duration it has been.

After a long period of years, I found myself devoid of all tensions and my heart felt free again. It was pumping rejoice and rejuvenation and triumph throughout my soul. It was beating self-satisfaction.
...

Hypnotized we were when the inner quest started slowing down. I didn't wish to discontinue but perhaps my opportunity was now subsiding. And I found her taking the initiative to end it here. I prayed her to continue for five more minutes and as they ended… all I said was just not enough to hold her back.

Eyes lost their captivating power and the magic was over.

It took me sometime to resume to my real life. And the image of her left eye looking in to mine slowly transformed itself into the most cherished memory of mine. This incident locked itself safely in my memory cells. And now as I reflect back on the magical incident that occurred to me; I feel heaven.

I fear that next time I won’t be so keen to look into a girls eye as I have got my answer regarding the personification of eyes and its beauty had been realized.

But I have a hope…
“This time the question came to my mind and found its answer in this beautiful manner…so perhaps next time I get a question from my heart... and I would again have an opportunity to experience something more divine than this…”

And yes I did realize that eyes really lend a voice to the heart that pumps love throughout our soul…

........................................................................................................




LOVE.. A Beautiful Experience.

From the past few days, I desperately wanted to write down something. As I thought of the possible topics… the chain of thoughts was... >>> I love writing…>>>I joined IBC because I loved to express and I find appreciators here>>>   with the recurrence of the word LOVE in thoughts.. I finally decided to write about something associated to love… and then waiting for days, for the  thoughts to develop upon… And then a day(*a night) comes , when the circumstances around me serve as an inspiration to go ahead with writing about the most divine feeling which rests in our heart… LOVE. 
Following is what I messaged to my friend one night…


12:49am, 3 Apr

Love.... What is love??....

 Every time I think about defining love, I find myself being put to a vocabulary test...
But certain small daily life incidents help you understand the term LOVE, which might sound short.. But is a million fathoms deep... For those who believe it...
And I say this based on what happened with me in the past 1hr...
Well... A girl... In process of becoming a lady....my lady.... Even when I was asleep due to health issues, and knowing that my mobile’s net was off, continued to update me with all that she has been doing while I was asleep. So that when I wake up... I don't find myself missing on anything in the 4hours of sleep...
Next... I wake up exactly at the time when she moves on to her bed.. (we assume it to be ours..) ..and  I wake up at the same time... and we go for a short call... Brings in satisfaction.. and promises a sound sleep ahead...
Then.. She asks me to have something before I go on to resume my sleep.. I promise her I will ...and then she sleeps...

I walk down to my dining area... and find nothing to feed myself...
Neither the remains of the main course.. Nor any supplements to keep my promise to my lady.....
Reason:  Mom and dad returned from a party and finding me asleep, they presumed that I'd wake up in the morning and they went to sleep...
Discovering I had nothing to eat and realizing that an empty stomach won't let me sleep and might bring back my headache.. and remembering the promise I made to my lady, I finally decide to knock my house's master bedroom...at 11:54 pm...
In the 2nd knock.. I hear dad whispering to maa, “ AKSHAY IS AWAKE..MUST BE HUNGRY.. U DON'T WORRY.. I WILL TAKE CARE....”.
NEXT…
 Dad comes up to the door... Opens it... And before I could tell him that I am hungry.. He himself asks, “AKSHAY.. WHAT SHOULD I COOK FOR YOU BETA??”
I had knocked the door just to confirm whether the main course was cooked or not.. So that I could feed myself on that.. But he knew what all I would ask and before I could say anything, he said, “I THINK I SHOULD COOK POHA FOR YOU. YOU LIKE IT I KNOW.. ESPECIALLY WHEN I COOK.. AND its READY TO cook and READY TO eat”. Much in  a south Indian spirit.... and asked me to lend him 5mins..
 All throughout,  I could just nod my head in agreement...

Then I assisted him in making the dish for me...
Well it took him 7minutes to cook it for me.. But the taste it possessed... Deserved the extra 2minutes wait...

 NEXT…

As I sat down to have my midnight meal... He brings me a water bottle which I forgot near the purifier after refilling it and says,” I HOPE ITS GOOD... I DIDN'T HAVE MUCH TIME TO COOK IT....”, and my smile meant his efforts didn't go in vain...
Yes the dish was mind-blowingly tasty...

He moved back to his room.. and I had my meal in the dining area…
 As I had my last spoon of poha... I hear him moving back to his door, opening it… and saying,” AKSHAY… IF THAT WASN'T ENOUGH... WE HAVE ORANGES IN THE BASKET.. AND BANANAS AS WELL...” never realising that now I am a college going student, grown enough to manage at least this much. But then ... This is parent's love and consideration and it always remains the same, be his child crossing any age…

 NEXT...

Having fed myself.. I walk up to the sink... clean the plate.. Keeping it back at its place..
And before I switch off the lights, I am reminded of someone… and I take a few steps back to the washbasin.. Pick up my toothbrush from the holder.. and start brushing my teeth after the meal... and all throughout I do it.. I am immersed in the thoughts of the one who brought this change in me...to brush before I go to sleep...

NEXT…

 I move on to my bed… Close my eyes.. But then I receive a few pics of mine, clicked during a recent outing. They weren't ordinary pics, instead, my dear friend took the pains of editing it in a way that would please me to an extent which is beyond all measure...
I felt the awesomeness of the series of events I went through… and thanked God to have gifted me with such loving souls in my life…

NEXT…

 I think of sharing this experience with my lady and a dear friend and thus start writing it all down for them... Presently asleep... But I know... they'll go through it all with patience…  and this will bring a bright smile on their face which will light up my coming morning...

 Various forms of love…

 Various forms of care…

 And I find myself so blessed to have felt the presence of love everywhere...

1:18am, 3 Apr  …



DISCLAIMER:
Parts of the above excerpt from my life might contain some hypothetical characters. Any resemblance to a person is purely coincidental.